


send me n00ds

by astrosminsung



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, But also, Crack, Demisexual Character, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gay Character, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, and by that i mean they refer to nudes being sent and whatnot, asexual sanha, bisexual moonbin, bisexual sanha, chat fic, demisexual moonbin, group chat au, homosexual jinwoo, homosexual myungjun, i mean i have the ships tagged, in this so! ye ye, lapslock, pansexual dongmin, pansexual minhyuk, poly ot6, so dw friends!! nothing explicit okay, text fic, texting au, there are so many fucking tags aksfjaf i'm so sorry oh my god, there's probably going to be some, this is just shitposting in fic form lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-03-12 11:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrosminsung/pseuds/astrosminsung
Summary: this is just astro crack entirely formatted as them texting each other lmao





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sanha - talk shit get hit
> 
> rocky / minhyuk - Swag God
> 
> jinjin / jinwoo - bitchass dog
> 
> mj / myungjun - *loud screaming*
> 
> eunwoo / dongmin - minion kink
> 
> moonbin / bin - Dongmin trash
> 
> **this fic does have angst in it! but if you want to skip the angst, just don't read the emo chat and any chat labeled with "(angst)"!**
> 
> general chat - it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA
> 
> emo chat - good morning and welcome to “i have crippling mental health issues :)”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would just like everyone to know i wrote most of this chapter in english lmao i was done with my work so... i just wrote this.. in class lmao nice @ me

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

Dongmin trash: Minhyuk shut the fuck up

 

Swag God: okay i literally haven’t said anything

 

Dongmin trash: i can hear you singing high school musical

Dongmin trash: you don’t have Gabriella’s vocal range, please accept that

 

 

Swag God: okay first of all fuck you i’m doing 1v1 karaoke

Swag God: and second of all yes i do you just don’t know true talent when you hear it

Swag God: does anyone want to join me to sing breaking free

 

*loud screaming*: I’M HERE I’LL DO IT

 

minion kink: oh good god

 

Dongmin trash: god help us

 

 

 

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

*loud screaming*: hey babe can you please get some eggs while you’re out

 

bitchass dog: of course sweetheart, i’ll be home in a few minutes <3

 

*loud screaming*: ( ˊᵕˋ ) <3

 

talk shit get hit: ew wtf

talk shit get hit: take that lovey dovey shit to a private chat

 

Swag God: *violent gagging*

 

*loud screaming*: Sanha, you’re living up to the user, i see

 

talk shit get hit: *finger guns* ;)

 

bitchass dog: you two seem to be forgetting that you’re the ones who like to watch horror movies just to have an excuse to cuddle

 

Dongmin trash: and that you both ended up crying when you confessed?

Dongmin trash: and that you complain about us being gross while Sanha is literally sitting in your lap, Minhyuk

Dongmin trash: and that neither of you are replying right now because your gay asses are busy kissing on the couch?

 

talk shit get hit: wait where r u how can u see us

 

Dongmin trash: i’m in the kitchen dumbass

 

Swag God: fuck off“Dongmin trash”

 

Dongmin trash: oh NO you have roasted me good, what with a username that i chose for myself AND acknowledge is accurate, and all that

 

minion kink: awe babe i’m trash for you too <3

 

Dongmin trash: i love you <3

 

minion kink: love you too <3

 

Swag God: fucking disgusting

Swag God: Bin you don’t have to yell my name i can see you flipping me off from here

 

minion kink: Minhyuk please stop flipping off my boyfriend

 

Swag God: he started it

 

Dongmin trash: :)

 

Swag God: :)

 

 

 

**group chat: good morning and welcome to “i have crippling mental health issues :)”**

 

minion kink: everythingn feles wron g

 

Dongmin trash: babe what’s wrong?

 

Swag God: Dongmin what’s up?

 

talk shit get it: are you okay?

 

*loud screaming*: are you alright?

 

bitchass dog: Dongmin, what’s wrong? are you okay?

 

minion kink: i wjust wanted to get some food at the convenienc e store btu now ’m crying in the batrhomo

minion kink: i ca’nt breateh and I’m shaking to o much to tpy e 

minion kink: i don’t know waht’s wrong

 

bitchass dog: hey, it’s okay. take a deep breath for me okay? breath in and count to 3, breathe out and count to 7. everything will be okay

 

Dongmin trash: do you want me to come get you?

 

minion kink: it feels lki e i’ m choking

minion kink: no Bin im oky a

 

Dongmin trash: i’ll be there in 5 minutes

 

minion kink: …

minion kink: thakn you 

 

bitchass dog: ground yourself, Dongmin

bitchas dog: at least until Bin gets there

 

minion kink: okay

 

bitchass dog: 5 things you can see

bitchass dog: 4 things you can touch 

bitchass dog: 3 things you can hear

bitchass dog: 2 things you can smell

bitchass dog: 1 thing you can taste

 

minion kink: i’m done

minion kink: i feel a bi t bettre

minion kink: but i m still shkaign a l ot

 

bitchass dog: that’s good

bitchass dog: and it’s okay. as long as you’re breathing better

 

minion kink: i am

 

Dongmin trash: sweetheart i’m here

Dongmin trash: which bathroom are you in?

 

minion kink: the one i n the bcak

 

…

 

minion kink: thank you

minion kink: i am very sorry about all of that

 

Dongmin trash: you don’t have to apologize, sweetheart

Dongmin trash: we’re always here for you

 

bitchass dog: i agree with Bin. we are always, always here

 

*loud screaming*: seconded

 

Swag God: i agree too

 

talk shit get hit: me too

 

minion kink: god i love you guys

minion kink: and the same always goes to every single one of you, okay?

 

Dongmin trash: <3

 

bitchass dog: <3

 

talk shit get hit: <3

 

*loud screaming*: <3

 

Swag God: <3

 

 

 

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

talk shit get hit: hey okay so i fucked up and now the smoke alarm is going off

talk shit get hit: how do i get it to shut up

 

*loud screaming*: tiny child wtf did you do

 

talk shit get hit: well apparently you can’t try to make caramel and then leave the sugar in the pan and go shower

talk shit get hit: the sugar didn’t like that and i burned my caramel

talk shit get hit: and now there’s a bunch of smoke in the kitchen

 

Swag God: babe you’re a dumbass

 

talk shit get hit: shut up Minhyuk 

talk shit get hit: you’re the one who thought you boiled noodles by putting the pot of water in the fucking oven

 

Swag God: SANHA DID I FUCKING ASK

Swag God: i thought we agreed that was in the past you little shit

 

talk shit get hit: i agreed to no such thing

 

Swag God: i’m breaking up with you

 

talk shit get hit: :OOOOOOO

talk shit get hit: u know u can’t resist this BOD

 

*loud screaming*: Sanha i swear to god if you refer to your “bod” one more time in this fucking FAMILY FRIENDLY GROUP CHAT you aren’t allowed to live with us anymore

 

Swag God: “family friendly” my left ass cheek, mr. “i accidentally sent my nudes to this chat instead of me and my gross bf’s private chat”

 

*loud screaming*: MINHYUK I WILL FUCKING END YOU

 

bitchass dog: woah yeah okay let’s stop this right here

 

talk shit get hit: yeah okay BUT I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE SMOKE ALARM

 

bitchass dog: sanha just take the batteries out

 

talk shit get hit: Jinwoo you’re the only one i love

 

Swag God: fucking excuse you

 

talk shit get hit: did i stutter

 

Swag God: yeah okay i’m breaking up with you

Swag God: for real this time

 

talk shit get hit: i would just like everyone to know that Minhyuk is saying this shit in this chat but in our private chat he’s sending me romantic memes

 

*loud screaming*: called it

*loud screaming*: Jinwoo see i was right even with the meme part

 

bitchass dog: yeah congrats babe

 

*loud screaming*: this is what Real Love looks like kids

 

talk shit get hit: oh speaking of real love where are the gross lovebirds?

 

Swag God: out doin some freaky shit

 

bitchass dog: ???

 

Swag God: they’re at the pet store to hold puppies

 

bitchass dog: oh of course they are

 

*loud screaming*: do they ever do anything else?

 

Swag God: no

 

talk shit get hit: no

 

bitchass dog: no

 

 

 

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

minion kink: i’m lonely who wants to come cuddle

 

Dongmin trash: I’M HERE I’M COMING

 

Swag God: ye sure

 

bitchass dog: yeah i’ll be over in a minute

 

*loud screaming*: oooooooo yes of course

 

talk shit get hit: can i bring my laptop so we can watch anime

 

minion kink: yes of course Sanha who do you think i am

 

talk shit get hit: i mean i Think you’re someone who watches hentai but okay

 

minion kink: YOON SANHSSUFJFBEU AHh sidhtan

 

Swag God: what in the holy hell

 

bitchass dog: Bin tackled him

 

Swag God: and let me guess

Swag God: now they’re kissing

 

bitchass dog: you would be correct

 

Swag God: you are both gay and disgusting

 

minion kink: first of fucking all

minion kink: Minhyuk i will disown you

minion kink: second of all

minion kink: as your resident pansexual who’s boyfriend is your resident demi-bisexual

minion kink: you’re just as gay as we are

 

Swag God: “resident pansexual” bitch i’m pan too wtf r u talkin about

 

*loud screaming*: as your resident flaming homosexual

*loud screaming*: i am gayer than all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk gay shit to me ;D
> 
>  
> 
> \- [finger guns (main)](lovelyjjonghyun.tumblr.com)  
> \- [jazz hands (my incorrect astro quotes blog)](incorrect-astro.tumblr.com)  
> \- [winks (my twt)](https://twitter.com/jjinwhoops)  
> 


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took a hot minute whoops sorry !! but ye there are some like 1x1 chats in here!! so ye ye

**chat: Swag God + talk shit get hit (*slight angst / fluff*)**

 

Swag God: hey Sanha

 

talk shit get hit: what’s up my swag boyfriend

 

Swag God: that’s the only name you’re allowed call me from now on

Swag God: anyway

Swag God: am i good enough?

 

talk shit get hit: what?

talk shit get hit: of course you are, Minhyuk

talk shit get hit: where’s this coming from?

 

Swag God: i just… i don’t know

 

talk shit get hit: do you really not know?

 

Swag God: i had a dream last night

Swag God: i mean, not a dream

Swag God: a fuckin nightmare

Swag God: where the others kept telling me i wasn’t good enough

Swag God: and that i don’t belong in the group with all of you

Swag God: and how i should. just move out and quit pretending like i belong

Swag God: and i turned to you hoping you’d defend me

Swag God: but you just turned away and didn’t say anything

 

talk shit get hit: Minhyuk..

talk shit get hit: jesus, none of that is true

talk shit get hit: not even in the slightest, do you understand me?

talk shit get hit: without you, our group wouldn’t be the same

talk shit get hit: you’re the glue holding our puzzle together

 

Swag God: that doesn’t make sense, babe

Swag God: but i understand what you mean

 

talk shit get hit: first of all, shut up i’m too lazy to think of an actual sense make-y thing to say

talk shit get hit: second of all

talk shit get hit: you know if that actually happened

talk shit get hit: i would punch all of them

talk shit get hit: right?

 

Swag God: i mean,

Swag God: you wouldn’t hurt them

Swag God: what with your frail little baby arms and all

Swag God: but i appreciate the sentiment

 

talk shit get hit: SHUT UP MINHYUK

talk shit get hit: I’VE BEEN WORKING OUT !!!

talk shit get hit: THEY WOULD AT LEAST BE DAZED

talk shit get hit: OR SOMETHING

 

Swag God: whatever you say, babe

 

talk shit get hit: :( you’re mean

 

Swag God: but you love me

 

talk shit get hit: and you love me

 

Swag God: <3

 

talk shit get hit: <3 :D

 

 

 

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

Swag God: I HAV E CLASS TOMRROW FUCK

Swag God: I DIDNT DO ANY OF MY HOEMWORK OH MGOD

Swag God: I AHVE A 12 PAGE ESSAY TO WRITW OH MFUCIG GOD

 

Dongmin trash: AHAHAHHAHA

Dongmin trash: YOU FUCKING IDIOT

 

talk shit get hit: ur fuckin dumb

 

Swag God: Sanha STFU YOU HAVE CLASS TOMORROW TOO AND I KNOW FOR A F A C T THAT YOU HAVENT DONE JACK SHIT EITHER

 

talk shit get hit: OH MY GOD UR RIGHT

talk shit get hit: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME I HAVE CLASS

 

bitchass dog: Sanha… you’ve been taking this class for 2 months now

bitchass dog: you should be able to keep track of it on your own ??

 

talk shit get hit: JINWOO MY WONDERFUL FATHER

 

bitchass dog: please stop calling me that

 

talk shit get hit: MY INCREDIBLE DAD

talk shit get hit: WONT YOU HELP ME DO MY ENGLISH HOMEWORK

 

bitchass dog: hm let me think

bitchass dog: …

bitchass dog: …

bitchass dog: …

 

talk shit get hit: Jinwoo pleASE

 

bitchass dog: …

bitchass dog: …

bitchass dog: …

bitchass dog: no

 

talk shit get hit: :OOOOO

talk shit get hit: WHY??? D:

 

bitchass dog: Sanha

bitchass dog: i’m going to put this lightly

bitchass dog: you are a grown-ass college student

bitchass dog: you can do your own work

 

talk shit get hit: :(

talk shit get hit: i hate u all

 

*loud screaming*: ;) <3

 

talk shit get hit: Myungjun where the fuck did u come from

 

*loud screaming*: i’m always here child

*loud screaming*: watching

*loud screaming*: waiting

 

Swag God: Myungjun what kind of shitty stalker are u trynna be

 

*loud screaming*: EXCUSE ME

*loud screaming*: FIRST OF ALL

*loud screaming*: I’M NOT A STALKER

*loud screaming*: SECOND OF ALL !!!!!! IF I WERE I WOULD BE A GREAT STALKER

 

talk shit get hit: ur too loud tho

 

*loud screaming*: :O AM NOT U SHIT

 

bitchass dog: no babe he’s right

bitchass dog: but if you were a shitty stalker you’d be MY shitty stalker

 

Swag God: LOUD VOMITTING

Swag God: DISGUSTIN G

 

*loud screaming*: fuck u Minhyuk

 

Swag God: <3

 

 

 

**chat: Dongmin trash + minion kink (fluff :’) )**

 

Dongmin trash: hey my star

 

minion kink: good morning my moon

 

Dongmin trash: are you making breakfast?

 

minion kink: no, i’m just getting back from the cafe

minion kink: i got you a latte, do you want it now?

 

Dongmin trash: of course i do tf

 

minion kink: okay <3

 

minion kink: i love you

 

Dongmin trash: i love you too

Dongmin trash: but babe

Dongmin trash: why tf are you messaging me??? we’re literally spooning rn i’m watching you type ??

 

minion kink: you have morning breath

minion kink: and if i don’t have to subject myself to that by messaging you rather than talking to you, i will go to those lengths

 

 

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA**

 

minion kink: BIN JUST BREATHED HIS DISGUSTING MORNING BREATH RIGHT IN MY FACE

minion kink: MINHYUK COME HERE AND KICK HIS ASS FOR ME

 

Swag God: i’m hanging out with Sanha do it yourself wtf

 

talk shit get hit: *cuddling with me

talk shit get hit: don’t censor our gayness Minhyuk

 

*loud screaming*: HA THATS GAY

 

Swag God: ???? bitch you’re gay

Swag God: but anyway

Swag God: Dongmin why tf can you not kick his ass on your own

 

bitchass dog: because despite Dongmin seeming disgusted, they’re still cuddling

 

Swag God: of fucking course they are

 

Dongmin trash: :(

Dongmin trash: babe i’m sorry

 

minion kink: you’re not sorry at all

 

Dongmin trash: !!! yes i am!!!!

 

minion kink: Bin, we’re not only laying in the same bed, but we’re also spooning. I can feel you giggling you piece of shit

 

Dongmin trash: :O !!! okay babe i’m sorry

Dongmin trash: for real this time

 

minion kink: :)

 

Dongmin trash: HE JUST BREATHED IN MY FACE FUCK YOU

 

Swag God: ….. did u really not see that coming

 

minion kink: :))

 

Dongmin trash: YOUR BREATH DOESNT EVN SMELL THAT BAD BUT??? TF?????? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME??????????????

 

minion kink: ;)

 

Dongmin trash: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

Dongmin trash: OH

Dongmin trash: THATS WHAT IT MEANS

 

Swag God: NO

Swag God: STOP THAT YOU DISGUSTING RATS

Swag God: GO TO A PRIVATE CHAT WTF

 

talk shit get hit: ??? wtf is Happening

 

*loud screaming*: nothing my sweet child

*loud screaming*: they’re just fighting VERY LOUDLY IN THEIR BED

 

talk shit get hit: …. Myungjun i know what sex is

 

*loud screaming*: SHUSH YOU DONT

 

talk shit get hit: ,,,,,,,,k

 

minion kink: we’re not having sex you fucks

 

Swag God: …… lies

 

Dongmin trash: we weren’t!!!!!!!

 

minion kink: we really weren’t

minion kink: not yet, anyway

 

Swag God: DISGUSTING

 

minion kink: love u~

 

Swag God: fuck both of u

 

Dongmin trash: :)

 

Swag God: no

 

Dongmin trash: :))

 

Swag God: don’t you dare

 

Dongmin trash: :D

 

Swag God: do NOT make the fucking joke

 

Dongmin trash: …..

Dongmin trash: we can do that ourselves, thanks

 

Swag God: I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP

 

Dongmin trash: <3

 

Swag God:  ㅗㅗ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cry with me about this astro drought
> 
>  
> 
> \- [finger guns (main)](lovelyjjonghyun.tumblr.com)  
> \- [jazz hands (my incorrect astro quotes blog)](incorrect-astro.tumblr.com)  
> \- [winks (my twt)](https://twitter.com/jjinwhoops)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i discovered a new concept that is sanha calling minhyuk baby. that's it that's the summary i got nothin else for ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OH MY GOD IT'S BEEN LIKE WHAT ??? 5 MONTHS SINCE I LAST UPDATED THIS I'M SO SORRY BUT BC IT TOOK ME SO LONG I WROTE A LONGER CHAPTER THAN I WAS PLANNING!!!! ALS O THIS IS ENTIRELY UNEDITED SO I AM INCRDIBLY SORRY OF THIS IS SHIT BUY ANYWAY THIS ENTIER FIC IS BULLSHIT SO H E R E

**group chat: it is Wednesday my dudes- aaaAAAAAAaaAaAAA (i have no idea what in the fuck this is honeslty / crack or smth idfk)**

 

Swag God: anyone know where i can find a sugar daddy

 

Dongmin trash: why in god’s good name would we know that

 

minion kink: grindr

 

Dongmin trash: why in gods good name do YOU know that

 

minion kink: i went to college

minion kink: i’ve been a broke twink

 

Dongmin trash: .okay

Dongmin trash: i have processed that and decided it’s hot so,

 

minion kink: nice

minion kink: ;)

 

Swag God: Do Not Start This Again I Swear To Fucking God

Swag God: fucking exhibitionists the both of you

 

Dongmin trash: :) 

Dongmin trash: anyway,

Dongmin trash: tf you wanna know for

 

Swag God: well listen,

Swag God: i’m broke

 

Dongmin trash: a lie

 

Swag God: fuck you

Swag God: anyway I’m broke

Swag God: and listen ya bitch wants every single pride item from converse

Swag God: so,

 

Dongmin trash: stop lying we know you can afford it yourself

 

Swag God: I. CANNOT

Swag God: AnyFuckingWays

Swag God: Dongmin help me find a sugar daddy

 

talk shit get hit: WHYC AN’T I BE YOUR SUGAR DADDY

 

Swag God: oh hey babe

Swag God: well first of fucking all

Swag God: ur younger than me

Swag God: AND SECONDLY

Swag God: UR EVEN MORE BROKE THAN I AM

 

talk shit get hit: :(

talk shit get hit: ur not wrong but still 

talk shit get hit: :(

 

Dongmin trash: Minhyuk you’re not fucking broke we all know this

 

Swag God: SHUT UP

Swag God: YOU’RE NOT A PART OF THIS ANYMORE

 

Dongmin trash: uwu

 

Swag God: don’t say uwu ever again

 

Dongmin trash: uwu

 

minion kink: uwu

 

Dongmin trash: !! uwu!!

 

Swag God: i will block both u i swear to fuck

 

Dongmin trash: fucking do it then coward

 

Swag God: …

Swag God: fuck you

 

Dongmin trash: uwu love u

 

Swag God: GOD

Swag God: ANYWAY

Swag God: IS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME HOW TO FIND A. FUCKING SUGAR DADDY

 

*loud screaming*: we goin sugar daddy ?

 

Dongmin trash: oh Myungjun not you too

 

*loud screaming*: it’s really not that hard

*loud screaming*: you just send a cute pic of urself and ask for $$$ and after he sends you the $$$ and asks for nudes you block him

 

Dongmin trash: wtf

 

minion kink: yeah no he’s right i did the same thing

 

Dongmin trash: oh jesus christ

 

Swag God: okay wait so that’s it

 

minion kink: yeah

minion kink: sometimes they don’t ask for nudes for awhile but then you have go through a lot of dick pics so 50/50 worth it not worth it depending on how many gross old man dicks you can handle seeing

 

Dongmin trash: i cant decide if this is hot or just really fucking weird

 

minion kink: ;D

 

bitchass dog: oh what in the holy fuck did i walk in on

 

*loud screaming*: Jinwoo!!

*loud screaming*: we’re talking about how to get a sugar daddy babe

 

bitchass dog: i have

bitchass dog: conflicting emotions

bitchass dog: but okay

 

*loud screaming*: :D

 

talk shit get hit: have you ever had a sugar daddy Jinwoo ?

 

bitchass dog: ..

bitchass dog: ,

bitchass dog: Perhaps,

 

Dongmin trash: WHAT

Dongmin trash: HAVE ALL OF YOU HAD FUCKING SUGAR DADDIES EXCEPT ME

 

talk shit get hit: i’ve never had one

talk shit get hit: Minhyuk is basically my sugar daddy though

 

Swag God: i am NOT your sugar daddy Sanha

 

talk shit get hit: but you buy me stuff all the time

talk shit get hit: and i kiss you and call you baby and pretty

talk shit get hit: isn't that basically the gist of having a sugar daddy

 

Swag God: oh my god

 

Dongmin trash: MINHYUK

Dongmin trash: YOURE SANHAS FUCKING SUGAR DADDY

 

Swag God: I AM NOT HIS SUGAR DADDY

Swag God: I AM HIS BOYFRIEND

 

Dongmin trash: SUGAR DADDY

 

Swag God: B O Y F R I E N D

 

Dongmin trash: S U G A RD A D D Y

 

Swag God: B

Swag God: O

Swag God: Y

Swag God: F

Swag God: R

Swag Gos: I

Swag God: E

Swag God: N

Swag God: D

 

talk shit get hit: awe Minhyuk u called urself my boyfriend :3

 

Swag God: WE’VE BEEN DATING FOR 3 YEARS OF COURSE I CALL MYSELF YOUR GODDAMN BOYFRIEND

 

talk shit get hit: i love u

 

Swag God: sigh

Swag God: i love you too

 

*loud screaming*: Jinwoo!!! our kids are in love babe!!!

 

bitchass dog: they’re not out kids babe

bitchass dog: they are in love though

 

*loud screaming*: :D !!!

 

Dongmin trash: un,,,,,

Dongmin trash: this is fuckin gay

 

Swag God: will you Please fuck off

 

Dongmin trash: ew. Gays

 

minion kink: babe you’re literally bi

minion kink: and i am literally your (pan) boyfriend

 

Dongmin trash: :/

 

minion kink: excuse me

 

Dongmin trash: :///

 

minion kink: ,,,

 

Dongmin trash: WAIT NO BABE DONT LEAVE

Dongmin trash: IM SORRY COME BACK LETME SPOON YOU AND KISS YOUR NECK MORE

 

minion kink: :///

 

talk shit get hit: um guys

talk shit get hit: guys where’d u go

 

Swag God: oh jesus christ

 

talk shit get hit: ???

 

Swag God: nothing babe

Swag God: one sec

 

bitchass dog: Minhyuk

bitchass dog: Minhyuk you know we can all hear you yelling right

 

Swag God: no u can’t 

 

bitchass dog: you mean you weren’t just yelling “STOP MAKING OUT ON THE FUCKING COUCH YOU DISGUSTING RATS” or,

 

Swag God: ..

Swag God: no of course not

 

bitchass dog: these walls aren’t soundproof man

 

Swag God: yes i’m aware

Swag God: BUT THEY DONT SEEM TO BE

 

Dongmin trash: we have done. Nothing

 

bitchass dog: we all use that couch ya know

 

minion kink: i have done nothing wrong

minion kink: ever

minion kink: in my life

 

bitchass dog: don’t quote parks and rec at me Dongmin

bitchass dog: this is Not The Time

 

Dongmin trash: Fine

Dongmin trash: we’ll just cuddle on the couch like pure old men

 

*loud screaming*: Bin if you call us old one more fucking time

*loud screaming*: i will rip your balls straight from your body

 

Dongmin trash: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Dongmin trash: WHAT DID BIN JR. EVER DO TO YOU

 

Swag God: you named your fucking dick

 

Dongmin trash: of course i did i’m not a heathen

Dongmin trash: Bin jr. is a good man

 

minion kink: babe if you call your penis Bin jr. one more time i swear to GOD i will personally help Myungjun rip your balls off

 

Dongmin trash: i-

 

minion kink: uwu

 

 

**group chat: good morning and welcome to “i have crippling mental health issues :)” (some poly stuff comes in in this so don’t be alarmed no one’s cheating or anythin they’re just all soft and poly)**

 

Swag God: sup dude bros anyone know how to stop having an almost panic attack in the middle of class

 

talk shit get hit: do you want me to come over?

 

Swag God: you should be in class

 

talk shit get hit: so should you, but oh well

 

Swag God: ..

Swag God: please

 

talk shit get hit: good i’m already heading over

 

Swag God: ofc you are

Swag God: god i don’t know what’s wrong

Swag God: i felt fine this morning, i thought id be able to get through the whole day without having an attack

Swag God: it’s been fucking forever since i’ve been able to get through a day of classes without having some kind of anxiety attack

 

Dongmin trash: Minhyuk babe did anything trigger it?

 

Swag God: no

Swag God: i d ont know what happened

Swag God: i was sitting in class and then i just couldn’t breathe and my hands got shaky and my vision got blurry at the edges like it always fucking does when this happens

 

Dongmin trash: are you still in class?

 

Swag God: i excused myself

 

talk shit get hit: i’m in the building now 

talk shit get hit: baby where are you?

 

Swag God: i’m in the bathroom near the classroom now

 

——

 

_Minhyuk’s breath shook as he close to collapsed into Sanha’s arms. he felt the younger run his fingers through his hair, rubbing gentle circles against his spine with his other hand._

 

_“hey hey, it’s okay,” Sanha whispered softly, voice muffled as he pressed his nose into Minhyuk’s hair, breathing deeply so Minhyuk could try to follow._

 

_“i’m sorry,” it sounded more like a gasp than words, and Minhyuk just buried his face further into Sanha’s neck._

 

_“baby, it’s okay. i’m here, you’re here, we are_ here _together. you’re okay.”_

 

——

 

bitchass dog: Minhyuk do you want me and Myungjun to come pick you guys up?

bitchass dog: we’re near your school already, it wouldn’t be a bother

 

talk shit get hit: let me ask him

talk shit get hit: if u guys wouldn’t mind

 

bitchass dog: of course we wouldn’t

 

*loud screaming*: we never mind

 

bitchass dog: is it a distraction kind of day or a calm music and not talking kind of day?

 

talk shit get hit: he doesn’t seem up for talking himself but i think he’d appreciate some distraction from it

 

Dongmin trash: if he doing better?

 

talk shit get hit: he’s really upset that he wasn’t able to get through the day

 

Dongmin trash: ah yeah

Dongmin trash: i’ll set up the couch fort and princess diaries on the tv

 

talk shit get hit: thank you

 

Dongmin trash: Dongmin’s already started the popcorn

 

*loud screaming*: perfect!!

 

Swag God: you guys don’t have to come

Swag God: you don’t have to do all the i’ll be fine

Swag God: i don’t want to be a bother

 

*loud screaming*: hey

*loud screaming*: you’re never a bother

 

bitchass dog: we’re already on our way love, it’s okay

 

*loud screaming*: we love you

*loud screaming*: i love you

*loud screaming*: and that means you’re never. never ever!! a bother

*loud screaming*: okay?

 

Swag God: okay

Swag God: i love you too

 

*loud screaming*: movie party!!!

 

——

 

_Minhyuk smiled softly down at his phone, breath only a bit quick now as he leaned his head against sanha’s chest, wriggling even further into his side._

 

_“why do you all do this stuff for me?” he asked, not really expecting an answer_

 

_“baby Myungjun just said why,” Sanha giggled, kissing Sanha’s forehead gently and scooting closer to him where they sat on the curb outside the campus.“because we love you,”_

 

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GASP this one has lil snippets of actual writing in it wowie but yeah SORRY AGAIN for the long wait!!!!! i hope you guys don't hate this uwu


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